I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize