Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
