I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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