how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
