Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize