my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
