can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
