Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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