Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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