It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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