YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
