matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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