How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
