So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
love makes seman taste better
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
