It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize