he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
