If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
