Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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