You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She even gives head with a lisp.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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