He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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