I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
third nipple confirmed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
