its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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