yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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