she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
