these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she peed on how many people?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
