By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
