is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize