you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
