i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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