He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
