I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
