last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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