This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize