i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he thought i was a dude.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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