why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We left the knife in your bed.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
