I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
