just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
