I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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