so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
