Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I need a burrito and a hug.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
