Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
