i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
