i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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