i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
