there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
