That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize