his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
