maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
tell me about the fingering
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
