She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
