Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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