Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
