so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
