I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
