that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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