Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
