so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
