Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
pray to the hookup gods
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