...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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